One decision at a time

Water.
Love it for the following: swimming, washing the dishes, washing the car, clothes, getting ready in the morning, nourishing the plant life all around, cooking, washing my hands.
As for drinking it...
Blech.
I'm totally over it.  I am even in a mood about it because I just want to drink diet coke and get on with it.
But, God made the human body mostly out of water so I know in my brain that I need to replenish it regularly.
This is clearly a rebellion issue.  It is an issue of not doing something that I have to do.  Honestly, it's like I'm 14.  "I don't want to drink water, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Good grief. Get a life, right?
So, I've not been drinking my goal of 64oz of water for the last four days.
Yesterday I was having lunch with a group of friends.  The conversation turned to what we had all committed to for lent and one gal shared that she gave up her snooze button.
"What?", I said.
"Yeah," she said, "I was really getting bad with hitting snooze and I don't want that for my life, so I gave it up."
I was dumbfounded.  That's brilliant.  That is a decision of intentionality.  I know this friend and I am not at all surprised that she is this disciplined.  I am so inspired by her.
Then I come back to my crybaby water issue and I really had a different thought about it.  Water is a necessity.  We have clean water.  I need to drink it.  The end.
And little by little, I grow up.  One decision at a time.

Starting again

           I'll be honest, so far February has been kind of a wash for me. It started strong, but then I got sick and after a few days of not really accomplishing any of my goals (except eating breakfast-currently the only light in my otherwise dark P365 world) I just sort of.....forgot.
         
         And when I did remember, I just sort of half assed it.  I know that we are supposed to be celebrating, not shaming and be all about progress, not perfection, but I feel a little ashamed, and more than a little disappointed in myself. 

Man, building habits are hard, breaking them is easy, and re-building them is REALLY hard; mostly because I get in the way of myself and let my disappointment and failure paralyze me.

Not this time.

This time I will pick myself up and start again.  So I didn't do all the things I wanted, and maybe stepping back into that place of daily vulnerability and thankfulness and generosity is a little scary because I'm a little afraid of failing again. But here's the thing, I'm learning that failing doesn't signify the end of the world, or really any huge loss except maybe a little disappointment or embarrassment.  Which I'll get over-eventually.

My world will not end if I don't accomplish all my goals this week. Or this month.  Or this year. 
P365 is not meant to be a chore.  Its meant to be a fun, learning, growing experience with my friends.  I need to get back to that part of it, not the "if you don't do it all perfectly you are a horrible person and a failure" part of it. Maybe its a little easier said than done, but I'll get there.

Generally, New years resolutions are notoriously broken by this time of the year (a whole one and a half months in) and we dont start again until the following year. 
What if this time, we started again RIGHT AFTER WE STOPPED?  And what if, we were OK with the stopping because tomorrow is a new day. And a fresh start. And a gift. And we get to use it to start over.

So if you've already given up on your goals and resolutions for the year, lets start again. Together.

Here we go.....

Oh, Well, Hello There!

Well January was the draggiest month ever. {I know, dotted-red-underline, "draggiest" isn't a word, but it seems to perfectly describe my sentiments about the month when 31 days felt like 45.}

However, February seems to be flying.

I can't believe it's halfway over.

And here I am, having posted once this month.

Once.

I suppose I haven't been posting because I haven't been all that great with my P365 this month. {I missed most of the first week entirely: 2 cards {good thing I was so over-the-top with these in January!}, very little activity, hardly any writing...nothing close to what it should have been.} I couldn't very well post about nothing, could I? Oh wait, that's what this post is about...

So, there it is: the big, fat truth.

I'm starting my day with this--and the hope that I will hit all four of my 365 goals today!

Celebration, not shame, my friends.

If I write about being tired, it will stop, right? (smirk)

It is the day of St. Valentine.  I hope you had something sweet to eat, smiled at those who wore red, pink or hearts; smiled at yourself if you were one of them.  I saw a lady in a red leather jacket today.  Do you think she wears that any other day of the year?

I am having an interesting week.  I am feeling mediocre at best.

I wonder why I am in a meeting or what I have to offer when asked my opinion.

I have been in the trenches with people one on one more this week than since the few days before Christmas, but I don't feel quite as much awe and wonder readily available.

Several groups that meet via ministry on our campus are plagued with depression, suicidal thoughts or grief.  I have shared more about identity in Christ with amazing leaders in the last three days than I have in the last six months.

Yet, I am tired, feeling bummed out, wondering if there will ever be a reprieve from the pain this world has before Christ returns.  The world sits in the palm of Satan's hands and we are charged with the effort to find peace and joy.  Christ died for our sin and the Holy Spirit is our conscious, our ability to see the world via the lens of Gods ultimate design.  But I am weary as I am seeing the world in light of Satan's stain and I am tired.


I've been here before.  It's not a dry bones kind of tired; but more of a sadness that all this tragedy is happening all around.  I am so desperate for Jesus.  I am also feeling lazy.  I hear my heart saying, in a whine, "Could you please just come back or could you, just for one day, let my eyes be blind to the constant manipulation and deception of Satan and his control over others?"

This is what I know though, He is faithful.  He says trust Him, so I trust Him.  He says run the race with endurance, so I will sleep tonight and run again tomorrow.  He says consider joy in the trials, so I will pray for the Holy Spirit to lavish His joy where all this trial is occurring.  He says that we are to sit quietly while He fights on our behalf, so I will silence myself (right after this post).

I am asking you to share, so that I can have perspective and your help.  What do you when you are tired?  Weary of the world's pain?  How to you rejuvenate?  Where in the bible is your soul replenished?

Tonight I will turn to music or reading.  I will read some of James because I dearly love how James speaks.

And tomorrow I will start over. 

Guest Post! Michelle's P365 {Part Two}

 {Read Part One of Michelle's P365 here}

To be quite honest and upfront from the get go, we've had thirty three days of the year so far and I think I've only done ALL four maybe ten times.  On average, I do at LEAST one a day but all four is a really, really good day.  I find that the hardest commitments is starting my day with God.  I love starting my day early but the problem is that I have the hardest time waking up early.  That being said, I usually start my day rushed because I need to cook my new husband, Kelly, and I breakfast and whip up his lunch (check and check).  I work for myself so I set my own schedule but I am the kind of person who once I get started, I can't stop.  This momentum begins when I start cooking so by the time Kelly leaves, I am ready to work...not meet with God, which in my already rushed & tired mind frame, can wait.  But then my entire day has shifted and stress begins to seep.  No bueno.  

On my best days, I am able to wak up earlier than Kelly, meet with God by starting with my "Words" devotional from Mariners Church, journal and then easily transition into a quick encouraging note to whoever God puts on my heart that morning.  

Then, with a new song in my heart and a refreshed spirit, I can whip up two meals.  Once Kelly leaves, I can sit down in my little corner office and start working without the pressure of producing.  I will work straight from 10-6, turn off my computer, put a sirloin in the oven and prepare dinner so that Kelly can come home to richly aromatic home with a huge appetite.  We eat together, go out to a movie and come back to do the "Five A's" before bed.  Yeah, too bad these days exist in my dreams. Honestly, the easiest items are making meals and doing the Five A's.  I think maybe because it's easier for me to serve others with an immediate payoff than to fuel myself and take the time to encourage when it's not a pressing necessity.  

Although I haven't had the best track record thus far of completing all four commitments a day, I know that I am definitely more intentional than I would be without "Project ThreeSixtyFive."  It's nice to have personal goals and I am glad that these four items are not make it or break it things; that I can always pick it back up from where I left off without guilt or shame.  And if I can participate in a mission without being compelled by guilt or discouraged by shame, than I've grown.  And like I'm told, "we strive for progress, not perfection," right? Right.        

No Excuses

Think about something that moves you.  Why does it move you?
Think about that thing, and pray something about it.  Stop and pray right now about it.
Thing about a verse/passage that God is giving you that moves your soul when you read it, recall it, say it that aligns your heart with God's on this thing that moves you and you've prayed about.
Now write that passage on something, like a three by five card, and put it in a space that you look at every day: mirror, stirring wheel, computer monitor.
If it moves you and you're praying about it and your soul is in alignment with God, it ought to be what you spend the most valuable hours of your day doing.

Moves --->  Pray --->  Word Alignment ---> Life Calling --->  No Excuses.

Here is mine:

Hurting People--->Pray--->Romans 12:6-7--->Teacher of God's Love--->No Excuses.

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; If service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching;
Romans 12:6-7

And I when I say No Excuses, I could just as easily say No Fear/Overcome the Fear...

For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and sound mind in Jesus Christ.

2 Timothy 1:7

 

 

 Would love to have you share yours.

Building Habits

On Sunday mornings I get to spend about an hour and half with a group of High School students discussing a curriculum that my church uses called Rooted.  Each week explores a different aspect of God and what it looks like to follow Him, The students have three quiet times where they read a page or two and answer some questions and journal about what they are reading and learning.  Each week is a new discussion and I love hearing what the students have to say, watching them open up a little bit more and how honest they are about where they are at.  This Sunday morning as we talked about how difficult it is sometimes to find the time to read our Bible's and pray I was reminded of my journey with P365.

I shared with the kids my goal to eat breakfast everyday and how difficult it was for me at first.  I never felt like eating in the mornings because I couldn't really find the time and was never really hungry.
After a few weeks of eating everyday I began to notice that I was waking up hungry.  Now, I want to eat every morning.
I think that praying is the same.  When spending time with God becomes a habit for us, we become hungry for it.  We want to be in his presence because its good for us, its what we were made for.

Besides being a brilliant analogy for the kids in my group, its also a lesson for me.  Maybe my P365 goals don't specifically have to do with prayer or reading, but I am building habits daily that will pour into other areas of my life.  Living generously, and allowing myself to be seen will become as natural as eating breakfast every morning.  I will start to become hungry for these things, because they are good for me, because they are what I was made for.

What habits are you building in 2013?